E-cigarettes: vapour is the magic ingredient, but it’s dangerously brownian

jarvis-post-headerWith the publication a few days ago of Action on Smoking and Health’s new report on electronic cigarette use much is being made of its finding that e-cig uptake is much wider than that of traditional nicotine replacement therapy. Yesterday, for example, Matt Ridley, in The Spectator wrote:

In Britain alone two million now use these devices regularly. In study after study, scientists are finding e-cigarettes to be effective at helping people quit

Unfortunately, like other rapid-fire commenters, Ridley then picks on another finding – that only 0.4 per cent of vapers were non-smokers – to wildly speculate that this means the argument is over about renormalisation. Quote: “This argument that vaping is going to ‘renormalise’ smoking… is clearly nonsense. With that gone, what arguments are left?”

The argument that’s left is that two or three years worth of data is nothing to base a conclusion on. It’s taken a whole century (or nigh on) to denormalise smoking, does he honestly think only a few years of data can slam shut the case on e-cigarettes’ possible malign influence on young minds? Really? Of course not. For a proper assessment we would need twenty or thirty years of studies.

This, by anyone’s measure, is a dangerously long time to wait. And anyway, why wait when we know that the relationship between vapour and smoke will never be sundered? You won’t be surprised to learn that we’ve been carrying out our own research here at LFG into vaping activity and the results are pretty definitive. The question we asked ourselves was: why does vaping have the edge over other forms of NRT? And the answer was: it’s the vapour. Specifically, its effect on self-cognition. As with smoking, the gently uncoiling swirls of vapour offer up a mirror to the electrical activity that swishes through our brains, remodelling the workings of the inner world in the outer world and transforming thoughts into something material, apparent and circumambient to the flesh: we see ourselves thinking. This is a highly powerful and addictive effect and an effect, crucially, that means vaping will forever partner smoking and forever be the knock on the door reminding you of the existence of cigarettes.

Working with NRT supplier Gerskzer over the last year we’ve come up with what we believe to be a revolutionary solution to the devilishly malignant brownian-motion problem of vapour and smoke. An inhalator that produces a mist, the Plume is careful to acknowledge the benefits of vapour production in aiding the switch from tobacco, but unlike e-cigarettes, does this responsibly: its mist escapes the mouth in a long, straight, responsible line. Check out the ad below.

11 responses to “E-cigarettes: vapour is the magic ingredient, but it’s dangerously brownian

  1. Cheap shot at getting free advertising interest by using the success of the ecig. Rather pathetic really.
    If it is any good it will overtake ecigs. If it is what i suspect it is, it will crash and burn just like the average nrt.

  2. Please provide the studies, I too have make deep studies that proove that earth is flat and santa claus exist. And what’s in the product ? What a scam !!!

  3. Of course, the big question is will it make users more attractive to the opposite sex?

  4. A “unidirectional mist”? You can’t be serious! Here, I’ll demonstrate a unidirectional mist: take a puff from e-cig, purse lips as if to whistle, blow.

    Current e-cigs are brownian? Gerskzer thinks: create an issue and they will come. Gawd.

  5. Unfortunately, the Antismokers are SO crazy that it’s actually very difficult to satirize them. If you *do* manage to find something they haven’t already ranted about, they’ll simply pick it up and *use* it as a serious rant. “Third hand smoke” was a nightclub joke during the 90s…. but now the antismoking slush funds are literally pouring millions of dollars into producing nonsense studies trying to convince people that they’re being killed by residue from George Washington’s cheroot from the night he slept in that cute little hotel.

    Now, that being said… just think how much fun it will be watching those unidirectional mist streams ricocheting off walls and bouncing all around the room, seeking innocent Antismokers to target and home in on! And imagine the contortions the Antis will have to go through to duck and dodge those deadly plumes! As the phenomenon grows, it will spawn a new dance craze, “The Plume,” that will sweep the planet!

    - MJM

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